NFL Week 13: Take a bow
The Lions are winners (for this week), Minshew Mania returned (for this week), and Big Ben is still alive (for this week).
There’s not much that surprises me anymore about the NFL, especially this off-the-rails season. Even the upsets were fairly predictable, at least if you’re an avid reader of The Post Route.
For most of the early window, it looked like we were headed for a pretty ho-hum Sunday. Luckily, the action started to pick up, and a few surprises came along with it. Whether you consider them pleasant surprises or not probably depends on your rooting interest, but I’d like to highlight a few of the most unexpected, and most likely ephemeral, performances of Week 13.
THE DETROIT LIONS WON A GAME
In our weekly picks post, Christian predicted the Lions would upset the Vikings. He also did the same more than two months ago and circled Week 13 as the date when the Lions would finally get in the win column.
Through the first half, the Lions looked well on their way to doing just that. They scored 20 points in the second quarter, more points than they had managed in any of their previous nine games. Jared Goff, who had infamously never won a start without Sean McVay as his head coach, put together his most productive half of the season, going 13 of 17 for 185 yards, two touchdowns, and zero turnovers.
But we knew that nothing could come that easy for the Detroit Lions. So with another half to play, between two teams that have accounted for nine one-score losses between them, it was obvious we were headed for a close finish. The question was: which team would screw this up?
After halftime, the sense of dread for the Lions continued to grow stronger. The Vikings scored on their first three possessions while the Lions only added a field goal. Goff threw his first interception in more than a month. On their next drive, with the Lions leading by just two points, Dan Campbell decided to go for it on fourth-and-1 from Detroit’s own 28-yard line. The play, truly one of the worst I’ve ever seen in an NFL game, ended in a Goff fumble.
The Vikings took their first lead of the day six plays later, but Goff had one more chance, and less than two minutes left, to try to redeem himself. And somehow he did, as time expired:
It felt miraculous, and not just because someone with the last name St. Brown caught that game-winner. The Lions had lost three games on walk-offs this season, including one to the Vikings, but this time, they got to turn the tables and end several terrible streaks in the process.
Much too often, sports fans enjoy ridiculing teams and athletes more than they do celebrating their accomplishments. So it felt refreshing when a majority of NFL fans — anyone with a heart and who isn’t a Vikings supporter — rallied behind a team that had done nothing but find new ways to lose in the most painful fashion. Then, when Amon-Ra St. Brown hauled in the touchdown, many of us jumped up and down and cheered like Campbell did on the field and in the locker room.
Gardner Minshew helped the Eagles bounce back
The Eagles were one of my locks of Week 13, though I had assumed Jalen Hurts would play against the Jets. However, Hurts was ruled out before the game with an ankle injury, which put Gardner Minshew in the starting lineup for the first time in an Eagles uniform.
I began to doubt my pick, but then: 1) I remembered this is the Jets, who have the worst defense in the league and 2) perhaps not coincidentally, Minshew started to ball out.
Minshew played his best game since Week 1 of 2020, the Jaguars’ lone win of the season. He went 20 of 25 for 242 yards, two touchdowns, zero turnovers, and his 133.7 passer rating was second-highest of the week behind only Kyler Murray. It’s no wonder, then, that he said it was the most fun since his last win as a starter.
I’ll be honest: I grew very tired of “Minshew Mania.” I always thought Minshew’s ceiling was as a quality backup but that he just didn’t have the goods to be a full-time starter. It’s fine if you like that he’s a bit of an oddball, but just because he has a mustache and wears jorts doesn’t mean we have to pretend he’s a better quarterback than what he is.
On Sunday, though, he was exactly what the Eagles needed. Thanks to Minshew’s performance, Miles Sanders’ 120-yard rushing game, and the defense giving up just 4.9 yards per play, the Eagles rebounded from an ugly loss last week to keep their playoff hopes alive.
If I see another article that tries to create a quarterback controversy in Philadelphia, I might become the Joker. But for now, I can applaud what he did on the field Sunday and enjoy this heartwarming moment with his dad afterward, even if they both look like characters from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia:
The Chargers’ run defense finally showed up
It wasn’t shocking that two of the league’s most mercurial teams seesawed for much of their matchup. What was surprising was how well the Chargers defense played, particularly their pass rush and rush defense.
Coming into the weekend, the Chargers were giving up the most yards on the ground in the league and they were the worst against the run per DVOA. Joe Mixon, who had rushed for more than 120 yards in back-to-back weeks, was held to 54 yards on the ground and had a key fumble.
Meanwhile, the LA pass rush woke up too. Only six teams had fewer sacks than the Chargers (21) before this week, and by Sunday, they had added six more to that total. Granted, Cincinnati’s offensive line problems have been an ongoing issue for years now, but Joe Burrow had been getting sacked at a slightly lower clip this year, and this was a season high for him.
Even more impressively, the Chargers did this without their best defensive player, Joey Bosa, for most of the game. He left early in the first quarter after getting hit in the head, and though he was cleared, Brandon Staley refused to put him back in due to his concussion history. Yet another reason Staley is a breath of fresh air.
Washington’s new kicker delivered in a close contest
Last Monday night, Washington lost their kicker, Joey Slye, to a hamstring injury after he tried to chase down the Seahawks player who blocked his extra point attempt.
After that, Washington needed to sign a new kicker, its fourth of the year. It went with rookie Brian Johnson, who had played four games for the Saints this season. Johnson connected on all of his field goals for the Saints, but he missed two extra point tries in a two-point loss to the Titans and was then waived.
This time, he didn’t let the pressure of a close matchup get to him. In his first game in burgundy and gold, Johnson made both his extra points and his only field goal attempt — a 48-yard try to put WFT up with 37 seconds remaining:
That propelled Washington to its fourth straight win and kept the team in the playoff picture, with a pivotal divisional matchup against the NFC East-leading Cowboys up next.
Ben Roethlisberger’s career isn’t dead quite yet
For most of his age-39 season, Ben Roethlisberger has not looked like Tom Brady in his age-39 season (won a Super Bowl), or Drew Brees in his age-39 season (broke the NFL’s passing yards record), or even Peyton Manning in his age-39 season (was benched for Brock Osweiler, but still won a Super Bowl).
Instead, Roethlisberger has looked like he no longer belongs on a football field. He is putting up career lows in QBR, touchdown percentage, and a near-low in adjusted net yards per pass attempt. Last week, he played his worst game of the season, when he posted a 65.4 passer rating and threw two picks in a blowout loss to the Bengals.
So no one really batted an eye when Adam Schefter reported that this would be Big Ben’s last season. The writing was on the wall.
But then he came out against the top seed in the AFC looking like his, uh, 36-year-old self? Stats-wise, it was one of his best games this season (2 TDs, 0 TOs, 111.8 passer rating), but he hasn’t played this well in crunch time in a looooong time:
(Not that his go-ahead touchdown was a beauty of a pass or anything, but it got the job done and let Diontae Johnson make up for an earlier drop.)
The Steelers held off the Ravens, barely, when Lamar Jackson juuuuust missed Mark Andrews on a game-winning two-point conversion, a play that will likely have major implications in the AFC playoff race.
But for one day, Big Ben reminded us, in his 57th career win by six points or fewer (tied with Brees for the most ever), that he can bring the Steelers to their destiny of an 8-8-1 record. — SH
Christian’s Shit List
All the things I hated in Week 13
1. The Bears, who aren’t even trying
Chicago is more checked out than a copy of 50 Shades of Gray at a library next to a wine bar. Without Justin Fields, Allen Robinson, or Khalil Mack in the lineup, the Bears just … kind of showed up Sunday afternoon for a game against the Cardinals.
Arizona won by double digits and threw only 15 passes. The Cardinals defense had twice as many catches (four) as any single offensive player (three guys had two receptions each). Kyler Murray threw a fourth-down deep ball for a touchdown on his first drive of the game, then only threw one more pass that traveled at least 10 yards downfield for the rest of the day.
Meanwhile, Andy Dalton struggled to figure out screen passes.
Matt Nagy is getting extremely fired, and even his players know it. Only five weeks left until the offseason, fellas!
2. The Bengals: still untrustable
Cincinnati had an opportunity to punch its way to the top of the AFC North by beating a Chargers team that has lost four of its last six games. Instead, it fell behind 24-0 in the first 20 minutes, scored 22 straight points to make it a game again, and then promptly started vomiting when the finish line came into focus courtesy of a Joe Mixon fumble and Tevaughn Campbell touchdown return.
The big question is whether the Bengals can get out of their own damn way. Joe Burrow had a pair of interceptions and needed 40 passes to throw for 300 yards, but he also did so with an injured pinky finger on his throwing hand and should be commended for his restraint in not throttling Ja’Marr Chase after this drop-turned-interception:
Mixon was responsible for just as many points for the Chargers as his own team and finished his day with 2.8 yards per carry. NextGenStats’ expected points added model paints him as an even bigger disaster, worth nearly three touchdowns of negative value:
One week after humiliating the Steelers, the Bengals soaked up a humiliation of their own. That’s something Cincinnati hoped it’d left in the past.
3. The Vikings’ prevent defense
Actually, I loved this. I predicted a Lions win. I want nothing more than for Kirk Cousins and his corny dipshittery to be exposed. I was happy to see this stat get even worse:
But man, this was preventable. Jared Goff struggled with pressure all day, making very Jared Goff decisions and even taking a completely avoidable strip sack on fourth-and-1 because he may or may not believe the world disappears when it’s not directly in his point of view:
With that in mind and 1:50 to play in a 27-23 game, Mike Zimmer … OPTED FOR A THREE-MAN RUSH ARE YOU SERIOUS?
This was the difference between remaining in the playoff race and having an immediate excuse to fire Zimmer. The Vikings still have a shot at a wild card spot because almost everyone in the NFC does. Sunday was the kind of day that erased whatever remaining goodwill this team had built in wins over the Packers and Chargers.
4. The Texans’ passing offense
Brock Osweiler games as a Texan: 15
Brock Osweiler games with 12+ passes and fewer than 95 passing yards: 0
Congratulations, Houston. You’ve managed to turn “he’s no Brock Osweiler” into an insult for multiple quarterbacks on the same day.
5. Chris Boswell’s fourth quarter extra point attempt
I have gone to multiple Division III football games this year. I have seen multiple kickers that clock in at 240+ pounds. I have seen kickers who are clearly here because they got bored with soccer but still struggle to boot an oblong spheroid. I have not, however, seen a kick in any regard that matches the sheer crappiness of this one:
It nearly cost Pittsburgh the game! But then it didn’t. So I guess Boswell’s OK. — CD
Week 13 results, in five words or fewer
Colts 31, Texans 0
Texans are first team eliminated
Bucs 30, Falcons 17
Bad weekend for Georgia football
Dolphins 20, Giants 9
Cardinals 33, Bears 22
Eagles 33, Jets 18
Lions 29, Vikings 27
Chargers 41, Bengals 22
Helter-skelter game, naturally
Washington 17, Raiders 15
Rams 37, Jaguars 7
Rams back ... this week anyway
Steelers 20, Ravens 19
Seahawks 30, 49ers 23
Another wild Seahawks-49ers matchup
Chiefs 22, Broncos 9