The best Super Bowl matchup would be ...

Please don't make us suffer through Tom Brady in the Super Bowl again. Also, picks for Championship weekend! `

With just four teams left, we’re finally in the territory where an idiot like myself can do the math to determine how many potential Super Bowl matchups there are. (Not gonna lie, I still had to check it a few times.) The AFC is the “home” team this year, so I’ve got those teams on the right side of the versus below. Though I guess if the Bucs make it, they’d really be the home team. Speaking of, would they be allowed to stay at their own residences for that? I mean, it’d be nice, and reduce their chances of getting gonorrhea or whatever else I imagine lives on the toilet seats in Tampa Bay’s public restrooms. 

Anyway, on with the rankings! 

1 - Packers vs. Chiefs

The Super Bowl we’re most likely to get also happens to be the best option. Aaron Rodgers is hardly at the end of his career, as he made very clear this season, but he’s something of a relic whereas Patrick Mahomes is the next generational face of the NFL. Both of these teams seem pretty evenly matched, which puts more emphasis on the kind of heroic plays that can really make a game exciting, and they both happen to have the kind of players who can do that stuff, from the QBs to players like Tyreek Hill or Davante Adams. 

2 - Packers vs. Bills

You get the generational element here too with Josh Allen, who also happens to be a little Favre-esque, but in a good way. I like this one because it’s likely an offensive battle. Seriously, I could see a new record for total points in the Super Bowl; the old one is 75 points when the 49ers beat the Chargers 49-26 back in 1995. 

3 - Buccaneers vs. Chiefs

There are several thousands of reporters at the Super Bowl every year. That won’t be the case this year, but it doesn’t matter. They’ll still have Zoom press conferences, etc. Plus, when you factor in all the content aggregation sites dumping their content trash dumps a dozen times a day, we’re going to get nothing but the same recycled Tom Brady stories we had to suffer through nine times already. Seriously, the old men in khakis are going to be recycling the same damn stories they’ve done over and over again, but with a new spin — TOM BRADY NOW PLAYS FOR SOMEONE BESIDES THE PATRIOTS AND HOLY SHIT ISN’T THAT AMAZING YOU GUYS!!!! 

Worse, think of all the Patriots angles that’ll get worked into the coverage if the Bucs make it. Please, America deserves a year free of Boston sports in the national spotlight. Haven’t we all been through enough already? 

The redeeming thing about this game would be the Chiefs beating Brady and the Bucs. It’s going to be hard for another team to have a dynasty like the Patriots did, but the Chiefs and Mahomes have the best shot at it, and they’d be so, so much less insufferable than the Patriots were. 

4 - Buccaneers vs. Bills

Everything I said above applies here too. There’s one thing that would be pretty cool about this one, if Buffalo won. Brady has a 32-3 career record against the Bills (none of which were in the playoffs, because this is the first time in decade the Bills have been actually good.) If they beat him here, it’d be sweet revenge, and that’s a lazy narrative even I can get behind. 

Another great one for lazy sports writers. — RVB

Conference Championship picks

Last week wasn’t high on drama. The only upset was the Bucs winning, but the Saints losing as a home playoff favorite is par for the course now. We think/hope the Conference Championship Round will be more fun, even if both the NFC and AFC titles games are rematches of Week 6 contests.

Why the Chiefs and Packers will make the Super Bowl, Part I

While I believe the games themselves will be exciting, I decided to be boring and go straight chalk with my picks (though I’m assuming Patrick Mahomes will play Sunday night). There are a couple of reasons for this. It’s been eight years since a team that played in the Wild Card Round advanced to the Super Bowl (the 2012 Ravens, who won it all). That means every Super Bowl matchup since the 2013 season has included teams that earned a first-round bye. This year, that’s only the Chiefs and Packers. 

Now that the NFL has reduced the number of first-round byes from four to two, it might seem like there’s more of a chance that a wild card team could break that streak. I’d agree any other year than this one. 

Just take a look at who won other sports championships since the pandemic began — like the Lakers, Dodgers, Lightning, and Alabama. Those teams, just like the Chiefs and Packers, had an advantage in both talent and stability. That’s important any time, but in 2020-21, having superior players and strong leadership in the locker room matters more than ever. 

Both the Chiefs and Packers were playing in this round last year and neither underwent any major changes since, except Green Bay drafting Aaron Rodgers’ potential successor and turning him into a spiteful Hulk in the process. So I’m predicting that we’ll see two No. 1 seeds face off in the Super Bowl for the fifth time in the last seven seasons. — SH

Why the Chiefs and Packers will make the Super Bowl, Part II

I’m intrigued by the Bills defense. Any Buffalo win will come from its ability to create an opportune turnover and then capitalize on it — you know, like when they came up with Lamar Jackson’s first career red zone interception and brought it 100+ yards the opposite direction to turn a potential 10-10 game into a 17-3 lead.

Still, it’s the Chiefs. I’m not going to hop off that train until it derails. Kansas City by 7.

The Bucs-Packers game holds a little more intrigue. The Packers were in control of that game after 15 minutes thanks to a 10-0 lead, but an Aaron Rodgers pick-six tipped the scales like a husky kid on the playground seesaw. Green Bay entered a death spiral in the only game all season Rodgers recorded a passer rating under 90.0.

Can Tampa Bay do that again? Todd Bowles is a great coordinator loaded with talent and a young secondary that’s riding high after ruining Drew Brees’ farewell game last week. But the big-armed Rodgers is the antithesis of late-stage, low-impact Brees. Head coach Matt LaFleur showcased his preparation and ability to subvert expectations in his Divisional Round win over the Rams. He’s got a treasure trove of tape from Week 6 to ensure he doesn’t get embarrassed again.

While Tom Brady presents a much bigger threat in the cold weather of Wisconsin than Brees would have, the change in venue is still a big deal. Tampa last played outdoors outside of Florida in a wild card game where the offense and defense both looked disjointed in stretches against the Washington Football Team. Their last non-FL game outside was on November 15. The Buccaneers haven’t played a game in freezing temperatures this season, and it’s supposed to be 25 and snowy around kickoff Sunday.

Did the Packers let the Rams hang around a little too long for comfort? Yep. Can Tampa Bay take advantage of Green Bay’s deficiencies on the defensive side of the ball? Sure. But Aaron Rodgers is playing pissed-off football and the Pack are playing smart as hell. As long as they don’t brain fart their way through Sunday, the Packers should get their MVP QB back to his second Super Bowl. — CD