It's not a football team; it's The Football Team
Plus, Week 12 picks and a holiday gift guide!
The Washington Football Team, for just the second time in franchise history, beat the Dallas Cowboys on Thanksgiving Day. At least for the next few days, Ron Rivera’s squad is sitting alone atop the NFC East. That’s both an indictment of the sorry state of the division and a reflection of how Washington is maybe just a little bit fun now?
I know, I can’t believe I typed those words, either, making a normally blasphemous confession in a public space like that. I could just pretend like I’m being brainwashed because of this Little Giants-inspired play:
Rivera obviously has a soft spot for one of the greatest kids sports films of our time — it’s not even the first time he was influenced by the Annexation of Puerto Rico. So do I. Like Rivera’s children, I grew up watching Little Giants. And because I’m a millennial who’s been conditioned to procure dopamine hits through nostalgia, I organized an entire Little Giants tribute last year to celebrate its 25th-year anniversary.
Or I could chalk it up to my pro-Terry McLaurin bias. I watched his entire college career and knew he had No. 1 receiver potential, even if that was never really his role at Ohio State. But he always did whatever the coaching staff asked of him, from the time he was a high school recruit looking to get a scholarship offer until he headed to the NFL as one of 2019’s biggest draft steals. He took as much pride in his gunner and blocking skills as he did averaging 20 yards per catch as a senior.
So it was no surprise to me when I glanced up at the TV on Thursday and saw McLaurin chasing down Jaylon Smith after an interception, which ultimately saved Washington four points:
That hustle earned McLaurin a few DK Metcalf comparisons, but really, that’s just Terry being Terry.
I’m also a sucker for trick plays that involve former quarterbacks throwing dimes:
And a Monstars-like defensive line that can both knock the quarterback on his butt and snatch the ball away and score right in his face:
Rookie running Antonio Gibson is coming into his own too. He became the first player since Randy Moss to rack up three touchdowns on Thanksgiving, upping his season total to 11 rushing TDs (second in the NFL behind Dalvin Cook).
Then there’s Alex Smith. Two Thanksgivings ago, Smith was supposed to start against Dallas, but instead he was in the hospital after suffering what turned out to be a life-threatening leg injury. He got a second chance on Thursday and earned his second win of the season in the process.
Smith was a shoo-in for NFL Comeback Player of the Year the second he stepped on the field in Week 5. It was unnerving to watch Smith in that game, which he entered in place of an injured Kyle Allen. He was sacked six times and averaged just 2.2 yards per throw, looking hesitant and a shell of his former self. Since then, however, he has managed to be a fairly steady presence. He’s not lighting up defenses, but he’s not trying to do too much either (very on-brand for Alex Smith).
I still don’t understand how Dwayne Haskins fell out of favor with the staff or approve of the way Rivera handled the situation in public. But Smith has evolved into a true feel-good story this season, and not just one the NFL is trying to sell to us. Meanwhile, Haskins seems to be finding ways to get back in good graces with the team:
Add it all together, and there’s a lot to root for in Washington, for once.
I’ve given up trying to figure out how the NFC East will shake out. One week, a team can look like it’s finally figured things out and then the next week, that same team can play as if the entire locker room had been struck with amnesia and had never heard of this whole “football” concept before.
I have no idea if Washington can remain in first place for long, especially since WFT’s two-game winning streak (its longest of the season) came against the Bengals and Cowboys. That doesn’t really prove much this season, except this: the Washington Football Team we’re seeing right now is more watchable, more capable, more compelling, and yes, even more fun than it has been for years. They really should just be called the Washington Football Team forever.— SH
Thanksgiving games, in five words or fewer
Texans 41, Lions 25
Lions served turnovers for Thanksgiving
Washington 41, Cowboys 16
Mike McCarthy galaxy-brained it
Week 12 picks
Our panel is coming off one of our worst collective weeks of the season. Although no one finished with a losing record in Week 11, us three Post Routers went 8-6 and just narrowly beat a dog. We might have saved ourselves from that particular embarrassment, but we’re not going to tempt fate again. So for Week 12, we’re sticking with our own species and bringing on another human as our guest picker.
Please welcome Dan Kadar this week. We all worked with Dan for many years at SB Nation, where he was our tireless NFL Draft expert. He’d churn out consistently great mock drafts and smart analysis in the lead up to the draft, and would also sometimes pitch in during the offseason with, for example, in-depth reports about LeBron James’ imaginary career as a football player.
Dan, Christian, and I are heading into the weekend with 1-1 records while RVB is a perfect 2-0 so far:
There’s not much we disagree on with the other 13 games this week — or 12, since Ravens-Steelers will likely be cancelled after Lamar Jackson became the latest Baltimore player to test positive for Covid-19. So if our picks hit, then we’ll bounce back together. And if our picks miss, then we’ll stink it up together — and not get outshined by a four-legged friend. — SH
The “athletic QB vs. non-athletic defense“ game: Cardinals vs. Patriots
On Sunday, Kliff Kingsbury will make his coaching debut against his former team. Kingsbury vs. Bill Belichick isn’t really a fair coaching fight, unless we’re talking about self-deprecating soundbites:
Based on what Deshaun Watson did to the Patriots last weekend (344 passing yards, three total touchdowns, a 121.9 passer rating), Kyler Murray vs. the New England defense might not be a fair fight either. Like Watson, Murray has been killing opponents with his arms and legs this year, accounting for 2,644 passing yards, 619 rushing yards (at a league-high 6.7 yards per carry), and 29 total touchdowns in 10 games. Murray can exploit the Patriots defense in similar ways.
Last year, the Patriots ranked first in Football Outsiders’ defensive DVOA ratings. This year, they’re the exact opposite of that, all the way down at No. 32. Murray should be able to give the defense fits by squirrelling around and throwing bombs, if his injured shoulder and the lack of Larry Fitzgerald doesn’t give him too many problems. — SH
The “go with your gut” game: Panthers at Vikings
Why pick against the home team that also happens to be starting Dalvin Cook? I went with my instinct on this one. The Vikings have an aura of crummines around them right now. Kirk Cousins has only thrown one pick in his last four games. Seems like a stretch to think he could make in one in five, even if the Panthers defense only has five interceptions all season. Now, my instincts can be wrong, but I just feel it here. --RVB
A short, simple, and affordable gift guide
Shopping during the holidays is stressful enough even during normal times. Hopefully I can help a little bit with some gift suggestions. This is by no means a complete guide, but I stand by all of these recommendations (or someone I trust, in the case of the video games/gambling ideas, does). Everything I have listed is under $100, and nothing is sponsored. I have no personal stake in any of them, except one, which I have noted below.
Useful gifts
Takeya Water Bottle with Spout Lid (various colors and sizes, though I prefer 18 or 32 ounces)
This is my current favorite water bottle. It doesn’t leak, and the lid is convenient for workouts. I only ever use it for water, but it can hold hot beverages too.
OXO Good Grips Water Bottle Cleaning 3-Piece Set
Make sure you clean your water bottles frequently, and then you don’t have to think of all the nasty germs that reside on every single inch of them.
Shema97 Functional Active Mask
This is the mask that seemingly every college football and basketball coach is wearing right now. It looks like it’s mesh, but there is a fabric layer that offers more protection than meets the eye. It doesn’t feel stifling, and the straps make it easy to take on or off, as needed. It does take a few weeks to arrive, however.
Supergoop PLAY Everyday Lotion SPF 50 with Sunflower Extract
We should all wear sunscreen every day. This is one that will convince you to actually do it. It’s lightweight and not chalky, and feels more like lotion than sunscreen, which makes it perfect for your face too. More importantly, it doesn’t smell like chemicals.
For as long as I can remember, my hands have rejected wintertime, going from soft and smooth to dry, cracked, and chapped as soon as the temperature dips to below 50. This year, due to even more handwashing than usual, I’ve experienced the same misery even when it’s been the middle of July. Using this as my everyday hand cream, especially before I go to bed, has helped keep my hands in good condition. It’s not too greasy, either.
I’ve been an Homage fan since the company was first founded in 2007 and would vouch for pretty much everything they sell. They specialize in sports apparel but also have a large collection of pop culture t-shirts. They also sell plain comfortwear. But since they don’t have merchandise for every sports team (the company is based in Columbus, so it’s very Ohio State heavy), I figured I’d better keep my recommendation neutral. You can’t go wrong with their sweatpants, which are incredibly cozy and ideal for the winter (and a pandemic).
Coffee beans
While most of us can’t frequent our favorite coffee shops right now, then we can at least try to bring the coffee shop home with us — and support those businesses in the process. Most will have free shipping if you spend over a certain amount, too. Here are a few places I’ve ordered coffee from in the past year that I would recommend:
Land of a Thousand Hills Coffee
Fun and games
If you know someone who doesn’t subscribe to HBO, then HBO Max is a must-have, at least next month when Wonder Woman 1984 is released. Its price tag is a little higher than other streaming services ($14.99/month), but you can always cancel after you’ve seen WW84. That’s cheaper than going to the theater, at least from what I remember.
Until the end of November, Hulu is offering a Black Friday promotion. For new or certain returning customers, the ad-supported plan costs just $1.99/month. You can catch up on shows/movies that you were always meaning to watch but never got around to, like Better Things and Parasite. And you can finally watch Hulu originals, including PEN15, The Great, Normal People, Palm Springs, and Happiest Season.
If you haven’t been lucky enough to purchase the new Playstation or XBox consoles, then good news: EA is offering a free Madden game upgrade if you eventually end up with the PS5 or XBox Series X.
Marvel's Spider-Man: Miles Morales
This is a follow-up to one of the best Playstation games, and it’s available on PS4 or 5. The PS5 version includes a remaster of the first game, Marvel's Spider-Man.
The gambler in your life would probably find subscription useful. You can track all your bets on the app and get updated odds and gambling tips. It’s currently on a 50% off Black Friday sale, too.
Reading is fundamental
Answers in the Form of Questions: A Definitive History and Insider's Guide to Jeopardy!
This is on my own wishlist, so I haven’t read it yet. But it’s a book about the best game show ever, written by the talented Claire McNear. I feel confident recommending it based on those factors alone.
Washington Post, New York Times, or local newspaper subscription
Staying informed AND helping journalism and our democracy survive? That’s a win for everyone, except, y’know, fascists.
Just your standard sci-fi western ebook about college football.
Publication to Be Named Later, Volume 1
The first edition of this sports quarterly will be dropping in December. It’ll feature a wide variety of writers and their collection of weird, informative, and poignant sports stories. In full disclosure, RVB and I are involved in this project — I even created a crossword puzzle for the ebook. You can get (or give!) a copy for as little as $1.
— SH