Let's go Week 8 pick-or-treating

What better way to celebrate Halloween on Sunday than with our spooky, scary game predictions?

This year, Halloween falls on a Sunday. So in addition to however you usually celebrate — dress up in a costume, eat a bunch of candy (whether that includes candy corn is up to you, and I have zero desire to hear anyone’s opinion on the matter), watch Hocus Pocus 12 times in a row — there’s another way to enjoy All Hallows’ Eve this weekend: with football. 

The NFL has a spooky, scary Halloween history. In 1994, Brett Favre led the Packers to a win over the Bears on a windy, rainy Monday night, in a game known as the “Halloween Monsoon.”

Ten years later, rookie Ben Roethlisberger helped end the Patriots’ then-record 21-game winning streak. In 2011, the Chargers lost a very Chargers-esque OT game to the Chiefs that eventually cost Philip Rivers and Co. a spot in the playoffs. Five years after that, Jay Cutler and the Bears upset the Vikings in one of the worst Monday Night Football showdowns in recent memory.

Who will fall victim to the Halloween curse this year. We have a few ideas, based on our picks:

Note: RVB’s picks will come later. We’ll update this at The Post Route when those are in.

If you’re feeling brave, we will discuss some of these spine-chilling matchups below. But readers beware — you’re in for a scare. 

Sarah’s picks

Blech. I’m coming off a subpar outing for the second week in a row, which means I’m officially in a slump. Fortunately, I only do this for fun and don’t bet any money on games, but you know what’s not a good time? Having to cheer on the 49ers in a "bomb cyclone" because I just needed one dang tossup game to go my way. Instead, I got to watch Carson Wentz rack up 97 yards in pass interference penalties, which led to 14 points and a 12-point Colts win. That was extremely not fun, and I don’t have strong feelings about either team!

Honestly, I’m a little discouraged. Last week, it took all the way until Monday night for one game that I was on the fence about to finally give me the outcome I needed. I was hoping that was a sign that I was coming out of this funk and that Week 8 would turn out much better. I don’t believe that, though, not after I picked the undefeated Cardinals to beat the Packers, who were down their top three wide receivers, on Thursday night. It looked like it might happen near the end, but lol nope, Kyler Murray threw the season’s flukiest interception with 14 seconds left. As such, I’m already off to an ominous start. 

So whatever, here are the rest of my picks. Don’t trust them because I’m apparently cursed:  

Panthers at Falcons

Dolphins at Bills

49ers at Bears

Steelers at Browns

Eagles at Lions

Titans at Colts

Bengals at Jets

Rams at Texans

Patriots at Chargers

Jaguars at Seahawks

Washington at Broncos

Bucs at Saints

Cowboys at Vikings

Giants at Chiefs

I’m feeling most confident in these picks (Last week: 3-0)

The Bills have a frightening history of playing on Halloween. The Dolphins have never lost on Halloween. I expect both those things to change on Sunday. While the Dolphins should be better than their 1-6 record, there’s nothing about their recent play (including back-to-back losses to the Jaguars and Falcons) to suggest they can get off the schneid against a team currently tied for the best odds to win the Super Bowl.  

The Bills have won six in a row against Miami and boast an 8-1 record against their AFC East foe in the Sean McDermott era. They’re rested and looking to bounce back from a heartbreaking loss to the Titans two weeks ago. The Bills shouldn’t have much trouble doing just that. 

I can’t remember the last time I felt this confident in the Bengals. I would be worried about a letdown after their big, emotional win over the Ravens last week … if they were playing anyone but the Jets. Mike White will be starting following Zach Wilson’s injury — not Mike White, creator of The White Lotus and Dewey’s roommate in School of Rock, but Mike White, the Cowboys’ 2018 fifth-round pick who just saw his first regular season action last week. The result wouldn’t be different either way.

The Chiefs scored just three points last week. The Giants gave up just three points. I shouldn’t feel as optimistic as I am about the Chiefs on Monday night, because this is not the same team that barreled through the AFC the last couple of years. But I think Patrick Mahomes is too good, and has too much pride, to lose to Joe Judge and the Giants in primetime. 

I’m feeling least confident in these picks (Last week: 1-2)

The Falcons have won two straight one-score games, and three of their last four. The Panthers have lost four straight. They look like they’re headed in opposite directions, especially now that the Falcons have learned how to properly use Kyle Pitts, and Sam Darnold has reverted back to his “seeing ghosts” form. However, I can never count on the Falcons (to be fair, no one can). They almost never do what I pick them to do, just like the next team on the list. 

I don’t know who will be healthy enough to suit up for the Browns on Sunday. I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt either way because as they showed last week, it might not matter how many backups they play if the opposing offense can’t move the ball consistently. And that can be hard to do when present-day Ben Roethlisberger is your quarterback (and he has to face off against Myles Garrett):

I’ve also incorrectly picked the last three Browns games, so make of that what you will. 

If Dak Prescott isn’t cleared for Sunday Night Football, I’ll probably change my pick to the Vikings. But for now, I’m taking the Cowboys, who — like the Bucs and unlike the Falcons and Browns — have done exactly as I expected them to do each week this season. Kirk Cousins’ primetime struggles are a little exaggerated (his dismal Monday Night Football history overshadows his 4-3 Sunday Night Football record), and he’s been playing well lately. The Dallas offense has been humming, though, and if this turns into a shootout, I’m going to trust Prescott more than Cousins (particularly with Patrick Peterson being out). 

Plus, the Cowboys’ ground game should be able to gash the Vikings’ mediocre rush defense. The Cowboys have the third-best run offense in terms of yards per carry (5.1), thanks in large part to an offensive line that is healthy and dominating again. But Minnesota has found its groove after winning three of its last four, and if Prescott doesn’t play or isn’t 100 percent, then a Vikings victory shouldn’t surprise anyone.

Why I made these upset picks (Last week: 0-2)

I haven’t nailed any upset picks recently, so I’m trying to change that by predicting more upsets this week. Will that change my luck? PROBABLY NOT. 

A month ago, the Lions almost shocked a heavy favorite … and followed that up with an uninspiring loss to a beatable opponent. I picked them to knock off the Bears that time, but it didn’t happen. Maybe I’m being a fool, or maybe the second time will be the charm against the free-falling Eagles. Mostly, I want to see the Lions win a game already and I’m trying to manifest it here.

The Titans just took down both of last year’s AFC Championship Game teams in consecutive weeks. They already beat the Colts once this year by nine points despite losing the turnover battle 3-0 (they have lost only two turnovers since). Derrick Henry is still a real-life version of Tonka truck. So why are they underdogs?

I know the Colts are rolling right now, and it’s unwise to ever put too much faith in the Titans. And yet, I’m doing it this week. Why not. 

“Why not” sums up my reason for taking Washington against the Broncos. There’s no rational explanation for it, other than Washington probably won’t go 0-for-4 in the red zone again, its defense is due to bounce back, and the Denver defense is still decimated by injuries.

Honestly, I’d probably be wrong no matter who I picked, nothing matters, eat Arby’s.

Christian’s picks

I was incorrect about the Packers, but as someone who watched that game from a townie bar in Wisconsin, I was happy to be wrong. The depleted Packers ground down Arizona with its rushing game and did just enough defensively to keep Kyler Murray from powering up. Green Bay’s pass rush kept the MVP candidate off balance just enough all night. AJ Green’s controller disconnecting on the final end zone route of the game sealed things, and once again the Pack are your NFC leaders.

We’ll see if that’s a sign of things to come; it’s my first TNF miss of the season. Last week was a difficult one as my Titans and Bengals disrespect boiled over. Let’s hope Week 8 is better. 

Carolina Panthers at Atlanta Falcons (-160)

Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills (-1000)

San Francisco 49ers at Chicago Bears (+165)

Pittsburgh Steelers at Cleveland Browns (-200)

Philadelphia Eagles at Detroit Lions (+145)

Tennessee Titans (+105) at Indianapolis Colts

Cincinnati Bengals (-540) at New York Jets

Los Angeles Rams (-1100) at Houston Texans

New England Patriots at Los Angeles Chargers (-220)

Jacksonville Jaguars at Seattle Seahawks (-180)

Washington Football Team at Denver Broncos (-175)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-240) at New Orleans Saints

Dallas Cowboys (-125) at Minnesota Vikings

New York Giants at Kansas City Chiefs (-475)

Pick I like the most

Seahawks over Jaguars

Congratulations, Geno Smith, You’ve held things together long enough to earn a get-right game against Urban Meyer. Jacksonville ranks dead last in both passing and rushing defense in 2021.

Toughest game to pick

Cowboys over Vikings

As long as Dak Prescott is 80 percent healthy I expect him to handle an average Viking team. The past week-plus has been an outpouring of relative Minnesota support — or at least not the level of shame a Kirk Cousins team deserves — and I would very much like Dallas to put an end to that. 

But we may not get Dak Prescott Sunday night. We may be relegated to Cooper Rush and/or Will Grier, two blindfolded children attempting to crack a pinata but instead hitting nothing but their parents’ groins with untethered swings. If Prescott’s calf injury sidelines him, well, we’ve seen what happens to the Cowboys when he’s not on the field.

So please, Dak, heal up. I don’t want the last thing I see Sunday night to be Cousins’ goofy ass trying and failing to fire up Mike Zimmer on the sideline.

Upset pick I like the most

Titans over Colts

I have a friend back home who has established himself as 2021’s most fadeable tout. He’s been on the Chiefs roughly every game this season. His lock last week was the Panthers (-3) in a game they lost by 22. This week he likes the Colts as a “home underdog.”

They are favored by 2.5 points.