NFL Week 8: A horror show

The Sunday before Halloween delivered twists, frights, and scary movie tropes across the NFL.

I was thinking about John Carpenter’s 1982 classic The Thing recently after an interview with the director went viral. It’s been probably 20 years since I watched it, but it has one of those chilling (and ambiguous) endings that sticks with you. 

I was reminded of the movie again on Sunday, when quarterbacks started dropping across the league as if they were being targeted by The Thing. Seven backups were already filling in this week, and then five more had to enter their game at some point. 

Kirk Cousins’ injury was the most significant. The 35-year-old, who has never missed a start due to injury, suffered what is believed to be a season-ending Achilles tear. Right when Cousins was off to what could have been the best season of his career, and just as the 4-4 Vikings had started to find their groove. It’s a cruel twist for the free-agent-to-be and for the Vikings, who now have to figure out what to do about their QB position going forward. Currently, the situation appears dire, not unlike the ending of The Thing. 

OK, maybe it’s not quiiiite that bad.

Anyway, Halloween is almost here, and The Thing wasn’t the only scary movie that came to mind on Sunday as I was watching the NFL. 

Vanquishing the villain: The Broncos finally beat the Chiefs

In the 95-year history of the Academy Awards, 591 films have been nominated for Best Picture. Only six of them have been horror movies, the last of which was Jordan Peele’s Get Out.

The original Get Out ending was much darker and was thankfully rewritten to deliver a more satisfying conclusion for the viewers and the protagonist, while still leaving the film’s message intact. 

But for a moment there, your heart sinks when you think that Daniel Kaluuya’s character, who has been put through hell by his tormentors, won’t be able to get away. 

I’m sure Denver fans had a similar feeling when Patrick Mahomes unleashed a dime into the corner of the end zone on fourth-and-2, halfway through the fourth quarter. At that point, the Broncos were up 21-9 and had, somewhat surprisingly, been in control the whole game. I say “somewhat” and not “completely” because the Broncos had played the Chiefs tough two weeks ago, just as they did in both meetings last season. Denver lost all three of those matchups — and every other one against its rival dating back to 2015. 

This is where it would seem that Mahomes would pull off his usual sorcery and break the Broncos’ hearts again. Instead, Skyy Moore dropped the would-be touchdown, and KC’s next drive included two sacks and Mahomes’ second interception of the afternoon. 

It was that kind of nightmare day for Mahomes and the Chiefs. They turned the ball over five times, the most in a single game since their epic showdown with the Rams in 2018. For the first time in two years, they failed to score a touchdown and lost by double digits. For the first time in his career, Mahomes lost a start to the Broncos, as well as a road game in the division.

I don’t know how much Mahomes’ illness contributed to his “off” performance, but I know the Broncos deserve credit for their tenacity. It took them a long time — literal years! – to take Mahomes and the Chiefs down, and after coming close a few times before, they finally got to breathe a big sigh of relief when the clock struck zero. 

Watching through your fingers: The Jets rallied vs. the short-handed Giants in OT

I usually try to avoid movies that are super gory. If not, I try to cover my eyes (and sometimes peek through my fingers) during the most violent scenes. But I’ve seen a few slasher films in my day and know how “so bad they’re good” they can be. 

That description also fits the Jets-Giants quadrennial clash at MetLife Stadium. It was a strangely compelling game considering neither offense could make anything happen. In fairness to the Giants, they were already without starting quarterback Daniel Jones and a couple of offensive linemen. Then in the first half, they lost leading receiver Darren Waller and backup QB Tyrod Taylor, the latter of whom had to be hospitalized overnight with a rib injury. 

As a result, undrafted rookie Tommy DeVito had to take over at quarterback, which meant he mostly handed the ball off to Saquon Barkley. That plan worked well enough to give the Giants a 10-7 lead at the start of the second half on a drive that featured zero completed passes and ended with DeVito running in a 6-yard touchdown. And that was almost enough — and probably should have been enough — for the Giants to end up with the victory. 

It looked like the game was all but sealed with 1:33 remaining, when Zach Wilson took a bone-headed sack on fourth-and-10 deep in his own territory. However, the Jets still had a couple of timeouts, and the Giants only gained 9 yards (all Barkley runs, naturally) on the ensuing possession. Rather than try to gain one more yard, Brian Daboll opted to kick a field goal with 28 seconds on the clock. Graham Gano lined up for the 35-yard attempt … and it was no good, his second miss of the game. 

Like Dewey in the first Scream movie, Wilson is a kind of dopey guy who tries to help but is more of a liability — until he miraculously comes through in the end. With the seconds ticking away, Wilson found Garrett Wilson and Allen Lazard for big gains, and then spiked the ball juuuust in time for Greg Zuerlein to kick a field goal and send the game to overtime.

In OT, the Giants won the toss and elected to receive the ball, even though they predictably lost yards on their drive. That set up Wilson with good field position, and another G. Wilson catch and a PI call against the Giants gave Zuerlein the chance to play the hero for a second time. And he succeeded as the Jets’ clinched another improbable win. 

Honestly, it would have been “improbable” no matter who won. The Giants finished with -9 yards passing. Zach Wilson was the Jets’ leading rusher with 25 yards. Neither team converted a third down in the first half, and together, they went 4-of-35 on third and fourth downs. Thomas Morstead and Jamie Gillan combined for 24 punts and 1,078 yards. Gross!

But it was also, as announcer Andrew Catalon put it, it was “one of the ugliest, best games you’ll ever see.”

They’re baaaack: 4 scary storylines returned

I’ve never seen any of the Poltergeist movies, but as a small child, I was at least aware enough of its most well-known scene to be a little frightened whenever static appeared on the TV that my mom had in her bedroom. 

I also knew the franchise’s most famous lines: “They’re here” from the first and “They’re back” from the sequel. Because if there’s one trope we know about horror movies, it’s that the bad guy has to somehow survive for the next installment. 

In the NFL, the “bad guy” is subjective. It can be the quarterback who always beats your team, or it can be a curse that follows you around like it did the Freeling family. And quite a few teams got a rude reminder this weekend that the past doesn’t stay buried.

Joe Burrow is Joe Burrow again

It’s hard for me to picture Joe Burrow as a villain, but that’s what he is to other AFC contenders, at least on the field. When a hobbled Burrow and the Bengals got off to such a slow start this season, I’m sure their competition was relieved to see them take a step back.

Well, that might have been true a month ago, but it isn’t anymore. Fresh off the bye week, Burrow looked like his old self as he handed the 49ers their third straight loss. He carved up San Francisco’s suddenly reeling defense, with 283 yards on 28-of-32 (four incompletions!) passing for three touchdowns, zero picks, a 89.4 QBR, and a 134.8 passer rating. He also ran six times for 43 yards with no sign that his calf had ever been injured.

Burrow made magic happen several times on Sunday, which is great news for the Bengals … and bad news for the rest of the AFC who will now be terrorized by Joe Cool.

Atlanta’s defense is Atlanta’s defense again

Throughout the years, the Falcons’ defense has often let rookie quarterbacks shine. That hadn’t been the case this season. In fact, their defense had been carrying this team to the top of the NFC South.

And then they gave up four passing touchdowns to Will Levis in his NFL debut. While the Titans were wearing the Houston Oilers’ old uniforms, like the killer wearing the skin of his victims. All of this is unforgivable, Falcons. 

The Browns can’t escape their curse for too long

The Browns entered Sunday having won two straight, thanks to their defense and some good ol’ dumb luck. That was almost what happened on Sunday in Seattle, until the Browns’ usual misfortune caught up to them. 

First, Jamal Adams used a soccer-esque move to bat a P.J. Walker pass into the air with his head, tipping the ball to teammate Julian Love, who intercepted it with two minutes left. The Seahawks got the ball in Cleveland territory and trailed by three, but the Browns’ defense had harassed Geno Smith all game. Cleveland just needed one more stop. Instead, Smith went 4 of 5 on the final drive and found Jaxon Smith-Njigba for the go-ahead touchdown.

It was a very Browns way to lose, and with even slightly better quarterback play — aka if they hadn’t sold their soul for Deshaun Watson — they’d probably be at the top of the AFC standings.

Tua keeps coming for the Super Bowl-winning coaches 

This is the fourth season of Tua Tagovailoa’s career. He has started 42 games, with a 27-15 record. Six of those wins — more than 22 percent of them — and have come against eight-time Super Bowl winner Bill Belichick.

Those are the most losses that any quarterback has dealt to Belichick, who is in his 29th season as a head coach, during the regular season. It’s not just Belichick who has suffered at the hands of Tagovailoa, either. Tua has won 11 straight matchups when facing an opposing coach who has a Super Bowl title.

The 6-2 Dolphins have yet to beat a team with a winning record this season, but that could change soon. Next Sunday, Tua and Co. have a date in Germany with the Chiefs, coached of course by two-time Super Bowl winner Andy Reid. Be afraid, Coach Reid. Be very afraid!