NFL Week 5 picks from a mom
I recruited my mom to weigh in on this week's (awful) slate.
I did not have high hopes coming into Week 5, when the only matchup between two teams with winning records is Giants vs. Packers in London. Blech.
Somehow, it’s already been worse than I expected. On Thursday night, the Colts beat the Broncos, 12-9, in a toothless overtime contest that was bad and not in a good way.
The only highlights from the evening were an increasingly disgusted Al Michaels and Richard Sherman’s therapeutic rant during the postgame show.
Even more frightening: That might not be the worst Thursday night game of the season. Next week is Commanders vs. Bears!
But I don’t want to get ahead of myself here. Let’s focus on the rest of Week 5, as dire as the slate is, at least on paper. Here’s a look at the latest odds from DraftKings (the favored team is in bold):
Giants at Packers (-7.5)
Steelers at Bills (-14)
Falcons at Buccaneers (-10)
Bears at Vikings (-7.5)
Dolphins at Jets (+3.5)
Texans at Jaguars (-7)
Chargers at Browns (+2)
Lions at Patriots (-3)
Titans at Commanders (+2)
Seahawks at Saints (-5)
49ers at Panthers (+6.5)
Eagles at Cardinals (+5)
Cowboys at Rams (-5.5)
Bengals at Ravens (-3.5)
Raiders at Chiefs (-7)
And as always, Christian has his picks up at FTW.
I’ve had a busy week, so I’m trying something different this week. I recruited my mom, who is here on a visit, to pick every game. She is not a hardcore NFL fan, but overall she knows what’s happening around the league. She also picked the Colts over the Broncos, so she’s already off to a 1-0 start. Now we’ll look at her other predictions.
My mom’s Week 5 picks
My mom went with a good mix of underdogs and favorites this weekend (her picks are in bold):
Giants at Packers
Steelers at Bills
Falcons at Buccaneers
Bears at Vikings
Dolphins at Jets
Texans at Jaguars
Chargers at Browns
Lions at Patriots
Titans at Commanders
Seahawks at Saints
49ers at Panthers
Eagles at Cardinals
Cowboys at Rams
Bengals at Ravens
Raiders at Chiefs
For some games, she went with her heart (or, sometimes, out of spite). For others, she did her research. Below, she explained how she decided on all 15 remaining Week 5 matchups:
Packers over Giants
“It’s hard for me to root for Aaron Rodgers, but with Daniel Jones nursing an injury, I pick the Packers.”
Bills over Steelers
“Because Josh Allen and his team have outscored their opponents 63-7 in the second half, I think Sean McDermott’s Bills will win.”
Falcons over Buccaneers
“Hopefully the Falcons over the Buccaneers because I’m not a Tom Brady fan.”
Bears over Vikings
“I’m hoping the Bears are victorious, but Justin Fields, one of my favorite Buckeyes, needs to have his offensive line step up and protect him.”
Dolphins over Jets
“No Tua Tagovailoa, but Teddy Bridgewater, an experienced QB, will lead the Dolphins to victory.”
Texans over Jaguars
“This is bold, since the Texans are considered the worst team in the league. But I’m in Texas right now, so I’ll cheer for them.”
Browns over Chargers
“Kevin Stefanski’s aggressive fourth-down calls could make the difference.”
Lions over Patriots
“The Detroit Lions find different ways to lose, but I’m predicting a win this week. I like Dan Campbell, and I can’t bring myself to root for a Bill Belichick team.”
Titans over Commanders
“I’ve gotta go with Mike Vrabel’s team.”
Saints over Seahawks
“This could be a toss up, but I expect a big game from Chris Olave. O-H!”
49ers over Panthers
“Former Buckeye Nick Bosa and the defense will lead the 49ers to a win.”
Eagles over Cardinals
“The Cardinals won’t be able to contain Jalen Hurts. The Eagles will continue their win streak.”
Cowboys over Rams
“Zeke Elliott became friends with one of my friends’ grandsons and surprised him with a signed jersey. I predict Zeke will have his best game of the season. I-O!”
Bengals over Ravens
“Under Joe Burrow’s leadership, the Bengals will get the road win against the Ravens.”
Chiefs over Raiders
“I can’t root against, or pick against, Patrick Mahomes.”
It’s not easy picking NFL games — the best record at NFL Pickwatch is just .656 this season — so I appreciate that my mom was willing to give it a shot. We’ll check back next week and see how she did.