NFL Week 5: That was pretty brutal
We saw quite a few devastating injuries and heartbreaking endings this week. Here's who we feel the most sorry for, and on the opposite end of the spectrum, who has earned our disappointment.
In the last few years especially, I’m often disturbed by the lack of empathy I see in sports fandom (and unfortunately, in society overall). It’s one of the main reasons I now mostly stay off social media for sporting events; I’ve grown too weary of the constant mean-spiritedness, the desire for attention that getting off a cheap joke brings rather than showing any humanity.
(That’s not to say certain people don’t deserve our scorn and ridicule. You just have to ask yourself whether you’re unfairly piling on and/or punching down.)
Week 5 was absolutely brutal for some NFL teams and players, starting on Thursday when Russell Wilson suffered the first major injury of his career. The hits kept coming on Sunday, which also made it a difficult day for those of us who tend to be emotional sponges.
I decided to single out a handful of people to whom I’d like to offer my compassion after the football gods gave them no mercy.
Dan Campbell
Two weeks ago, the Lions rallied to take a late lead against the Ravens, only to see their dreams of a win come crashing down when Lamar Jackson converted a fourth-and-19 and then Justin Tucker set a new NFL record with a 66-yard field goal as time expired. The Ravens won 19-17. The Lions dropped to 0-3.
This week, the Lions rallied to take a late lead against the Vikings, only to see their dreams of a win come crashing down when Kirk Cousins completed a 19-yard pass to Adam Thielen and then Greg Joseph hit a 55-yard field goal as time expired. The Vikings won 19-17. The Lions dropped to 0-5.
The Lions have now set their own ignominious record, becoming the first team to lose two games in the same season on 50+yard field goals on the last play. It’s a cruel fate for a franchise that has suffered some of the worst luck in league history. It’s a cruel fate for a team that isn’t good but tries really, really hard.
The latter point is why Dan Campbell was in tears after the game, leaving me feeling like I just watched a Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercial:
The first-year Detroit coach said, “You want it for yourself, as an organization and for all of us, but you want it for those players … When you see your players give all that they have and you lose that way, it’s tough."
Oof. This will continue to be a long season for the Lions, but they’re going to get in the win column eventually. Hopefully sooner rather than later.
Saquon Barkley
The No. 2 pick in the 2018 draft was selected to the Pro Bowl as a rookie when he led the league with 2,028 yards from scrimmage. Since then, he has missed 17 games, first due to a high-ankle sprain in 2019 and then due to a torn ACL in 2020.
He returned to the field in Week 1 this season and was slow to get going, but Barkley finally looked like his old self last week in the Giants’ overtime win against the Saints. Barkley caught a 54-yard touchdown that ignited their comeback, then scored the game-winner in OT.
On Sunday, the injury bug struck again against one of their biggest rivals. Barkley was carted off in the first quarter in Dallas and is now expected to miss a couple weeks. I wish this guy could catch a break, because when he’s healthy, he’s darn near unstoppable.
Joe Burrow
There’s no denying Burrow is a tough hombre. In the first half against the Packers, he got kinda helicoptered while trying to run for a first down and then landed on his head:
Somehow, he was cleared soon after to return and alternated between brilliant (a 70-yard TD throw to Ja’Marr Chase) to blundering (two interceptions, including one in OT that should have given the Packers the win right there). Despite the heartbreaking loss, Burrow gave it a good effort, especially since he played with a freakin’ throat contusion and was taken to the hospital after the game. Get well soon, Joe.
NFL kickers, man
We just witnessed a historically awful day for kickers:
(Both kickers in the Sunday Night Football contest were perfect.)
Mason Crosby and Evan McPherson were the worst offenders; they combined for five missed field goal tries, all from 2:14 remaining in the fourth quarter and into overtime. Though Crosby got his redemption with the game-winner, poor McPherson gave us a moment so painfully awkward that it’s like Nick Young’s missed 3, that time you accidentally called your teacher “mom,” and the Scott's Tots episode of The Office all put together:
It wasn’t relegated to just field goals and extra points, though. Giants punter Riley Dixon had what looks like the laziest onside kick attempt in NFL history, and Texans punter Cam Johnston didn’t see the right look for a fake so he quickly got off a punt that whacked his teammate in the back of the helmet and netted 0 yards. It was arguably the turning point in their loss to the Patriots.
Still, besides Crosby, there was one other kicker who got his chance for a do-over. Greg Joseph missed an easy game-winning field goal try in Week 2 against the Cardinals and made up for it this week against the Lions. What was a ruthless day for the Lions and most kickers was a feel-good story for Joseph. At least that’s something positive. — SH
Christian’s Shit List
1. The Giants’ never-ending string of injuries
New York came into Week 5 without Sterling Shepard or Darius Slayton. Then they lost Saquon Barkley. And Kenny Golladay. And Daniel Jones.
This was all in the first half alone! This gave way to a meaningful NFL game where the stars on one side were Mike Glennon, Devontae Booker, and CJ Board. Kadarius Toney responded with the best game of his budding career, then dumped all over it by attempting to punch a guy wearing a helmet.
I can’t even be that mad about it. Without an injury list that looks like a bunch of high school theater nerds attempting to grift their way out of gym class, we may have never gotten this glorious onside kick in which Riley Dixon decided to kick the ball directly to the Cowboys without ever moving faster than a nursing home walk.
Beautiful.
2. The Packers for trusting Mason Crosby entirely too much
NBC’s Sunday Night Football crew lavished lofty praise on Crosby in Week 3, propping him up before his 51-yard game-winning kick parted the uprights. Cris Collinsworth made him seem invincible, even though everyone in the state of Wisconsin understood the capacity for implosion. That jinx didn’t take hold that night … but two weeks later, it landed flush in Cincinnati.
Crosby missed an extra point, appeared to find his rhythm afterward, and then biffed three straight game-winning kicks in the fourth quarter and overtime vs. the Bengals. It was all part of a rich tapestry that proves, at its heart, football is performance art.
But after getting hosed on a third-and-long completion to Randall Cobb, Packer head coach Matt LaFleur turned back to Crosby on fourth-and-inches for a 49-yard attempt. “Surely, he can’t miss again,” LaFleur likely told himself. “SURELY HE CAN, OR HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THE 2018 LOSS TO THE LIONS WHERE HE MISSED FIVE KICKS???”
Rather than trust his quarterback to sneak for four inches or hand the ball to meatwagon running backs Aaron Jones (roughly the size of a barge) or AJ Dillon (could squat a musk ox), he turned back to the kicker who’d hooked four kicks already that day — and not for a chip shot, for a near 50-yard kick. Crosby drained his redemption kick, but LaFleur sent a message. He’s not here for risks, and he’s not here to change up his gameplan due to whatever’s happening on the field. That worked out on Sunday, but it could be fatal later in the season.
3. The Patriots, who are more screwed than we thought
Davis Mills’ NFL career to date before Sunday:
38-67, 357 yards, 2 TDs, 5 INTs, 5.3 yards/att, 50.9 passer rating
Davis Mills vs. the Patriots:
21-29, 312 yards, 3 TDs, 0 INTs, 108 yards/att, 141.7 passer rating
Yep, Matt Patricia’s back on staff.
4. The Panthers, who have run screaming from the circle of trust
I wanted badly to believe in Carolina. I even chose them as the pick I liked the most in Week 5. But after taking a 15-3 lead, the Panthers spent the second half cosplaying as a dried-out sandcastle, collapsing into dust.
Sam Darnold’s revival has slowed from a sprint to a moonwalk. Jalen Hurts played mostly underwhelming at quarterback in Week 5 and still soundly outplayed his teal counterpart.
Darnold had a season-low 177 passing yards and a season-high three interceptions as Carolina’s hot start has given way to a two-game losing streak. With the game on the line, his two-minute drill went:
Incompletion
Incompletion
25-yard completion
Incompletion (erased by holding penalty)
Interception
As a result, the Panthers dropped a winnable game at home and helped the Buccaneers tighten their grip on the NFC South’s top spot. Darnold looked great to start his first season in Charlotte. He’s gonna have to get back to that form to convince Matt Rhule he’s Carolina’s franchise quarterback beyond 2021.
5. Urban Meyer, both the person and the football coach
Meyer is a mess of a human being, which is something you can often paper over in the NFL by simply being good at things or at least creating the illusion thereof. Ol’ Urbs, to his credit, appears entirely incapable of either.
Here he is, deciding (correctly) to go for it on fourth-and-1 in the fourth quarter of a game his Jaguars trailed by six. And here is Jacksonville, incorrectly, opting to run the ball with backup Carlos Hyde instead of James Robinson, who ran for 149 yards on Sunday and had gone a perfect five-for-five in scoring opportunities inside the five as a rookie:
Who could possibly be responsible for such a bad decision? Urban’s stumped!
Fucking guy. — CD
Week 5 results, in five words or fewer
Falcons 27, Jets 20
Packers 25, Bengals 22 (OT)
Vikings 19, Lions 17
Steelers 27, Broncos 19
The Steelers are still breathing
Bucs 45, Dolphins 17
Saints 33, Washington 22
Eagles 21, Panthers 18
Titans 37, Jaguars 19
Patriots 25, Texans 22
Bears 20, Raiders 9
Chargers 47, Browns 42
Cowboys 44, Giants 20
Cardinals 17, 49ers 10
Shanahan didn’t do Lance favors
Bills 38, Chiefs 20