NFL Week 1: Something Like Normal
Lamar Jackson greatness, same old sad Lions, and a stunning indictment of the TB12 method ... it was a great Sunday.
It’s still a little surreal to be watching football right now. Live games in empty stadiums … you expect that at a Chargers game, but all over the league this Sunday was a stark reminder that sports are not an escape from reality. They never have been, despite a few dead-enders hanging onto that idea.
But sports can still be fun, even with the end of the world looming, and the first Sunday of a very weird NFL season was definitely that. Part of it was the relief of actually having football to watch. But the league’s also at a pretty exciting stage right now. In nearly two decades of covering pro football in one way or another, I can’t recall a time where there were so many players and teams that were this thrilling to watch. Patrick Mahomes, Lamar Jackson, Kyler Murray … and those are just some the quarterbacks ... more on those guys below. Throw in players like Josh Jacobs (who I’m picking to be the league’s rushing camp this year), Christian McCaffrey, Zeke Elliott, and on and on. (Yes, I’m fascinated with running backs this year.)
Hell, the least interesting game was one billed as a must-watch, Tom Brady’s Buccaneers debut against the New Orleans Saints. Despite 57 total points, that one turned into more of a defensive showcase rather than a headliner of two elderly quarterbacks duking it out. In fact, we may have seen the limit of what avocado smoothies and plyometric workout routines can do for a 43-year-old signal caller without a little help from Bill Belichick and Josh McDaniels.
The biggest loser this week, however, was preseason football. It’s tough to glean a lot from the first week of the season, and the openers are always a little sloppy, but it didn’t really look any different from any other week in terms of the overall quality of play. We don’t need those four exhibition games; only the owners do to gouge fans with full-priced tickets. If there’s a teeny tiny minuscule silver lining to the pandemic, it’s that preseason football is at least a little closer to extinction.
Okay, let’s dive back into Sunday. — RVB
Way-too-early quarterback reviews!
Lamar Jackson, Ravens: Still good, even if it’s only against the Browns. Having a touchdown magnet like Mark Andrews helps:
Baker Mayfield, Browns: The former Heisman Trophy winner needed less than three minutes to throw his first interception of the season. The poor, poor Browns. At least his Progressive ads are solid!
Cam Newton, Patriots: Newton didn’t do much through the air thanks to a lacking receiving corps (19 passes, 155 yards). His 75 rush yards were the most for a Patriots quarterback since 1977. His two touchdowns would have been enough to beat the Dolphins on their own.
Josh Allen, Bills: The good — he threw for two touchdowns, added another on the ground, and chalked up 369 total yards to topple a very bad Jets team. The bad — he fumbled twice and also did this in the red zone:
Occasionally wonderful, occasionally horrific. This was the full Josh Allen experience, and we got it in Week 1.
Russell Wilson, Seahawks: Matt Ryan threw for 450 yards and Wilson made him look like an afterthought in a blowout win. He had as many touchdown passes (four) as incompletions.
Mitchell Trubisky, Bears: Trubisky, once drafted over Patrick Mahomes and Deshaun Watson, spent the first three quarters begging head coach Matt Nagy to replace him with new arrival Nick Foles. Then he threw three touchdowns in the fourth quarter to rally Chicago from a 23-6 deficit. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Aaron Rodgers, Packers: Jordan Love might be waiting at his shot at the throne for a while:
Rodgers threw for 364 yards and four touchdowns. He would have had even more if not for a few crushing drops on some absolutely on point deep balls.
Kirk Cousins, Vikings: Put together a solid line (76 percent completion rate, 259 yards, two touchdowns). In true Kirk Cousins fashion, it was completely meaningless.
Philip Rivers, Colts: Threw for 363 yards and orchestrated an offense that didn’t punt once and somehow still lost. Congratulations to the Indianapolis Chargers.
Gardner Minshew, Jaguars: The quarterback with the game’s greatest moustache threw a wrench into the Jags’ tanking plans in a 19-of-20, three-touchdown performance. He’s playing like he knows he’s less than a year from getting replaced by Trevor Lawrence, and it could push him from “fine, whatever” to “legitimate starter for non-hopeless teams.”
Dwayne Haskins, Football Team/Carson Wentz, Eagles: I have nothing to add, I would just like to reiterate that Philadelphia watched a 17-0 lead crumble to dust against one of the league’s worst teams.
Teddy Bridgewater, Panthers: A perfectly cromulent debut derailed by head coach Matt Rhule’s decision to run a fullback dive with the game on the line instead of giving the ball to his All-Pro running back. Teddy remains delightfully average.
Derek Carr, Raiders: He’s in a great spot to fend off Marcus Mariota for his starting role if he can keep throwing dimes like this:
Tom Brady, Buccaneers: (the sound of air being sucked over clenched teeth)
Drew Brees, Saints: The gunslinger of days past is officially gone; Brees is now a checkdown QB who uses that leverage to occasionally roast defenses with deep shots to Michael Thomas. 30 passes, 160 yards.
Joe Burrow, Bengals: Through his first half of NFL play, he averaged twice as many yards per rush (7.3) as yards per pass attempt (3.6). You did this, Bengals.
Dak Prescott, Cowboys: He was a 50/50 offensive pass interference call away from playing hero in LA. Instead, he proved Jason Garrett results are possible without Jason Garrett on the sideline.
Jared Goff, Rams: He can be above-average without Todd Gurley or Brandin Cooks … as long as he doesn’t face too much pressure in the pocket. When the Cowboys brought a pass rush, he crumbled like a pressed-board table in a wrestling ring. Nick Bosa might turn him into a crater.
Week 1 results, in five words or fewer
Seahawks 38, Falcons 25
Seahawks finally let Russ cook
Bills 27, Jets 17
Sloppy team beats sloppier team
Bears 27, Lions 23
Packers 43, Vikings 34
Patriots 21, Dolphins 11
Washington 27, Eagles 17
Washington’s D-Line spurs huge comeback
Raiders 34, Panthers 30
Should’ve given it to McCaffrey
Jaguars 27, Colts 20
Rivers’ TOs plague Chargers Colts
Ravens 38, Browns 6
Lamar sharp, Browns not. Shocking!
Chargers 16, Bengals 13
Burrow can’t stop Bengals’ Bungling
Cardinals 24, 49ers 20
Kyler Murray, appointment television
Saints 34, Buccaneers 23
Rams 20, Cowboys 17
The Week 1 Pain Index
Thirteen teams lost on Sunday, but not every loss is treated equally. Three stood out above the rest — and not in a good way — when it came to one factor: paaaaain.
3. Colts
For 14 seasons, Philip Rivers started every game for the Chargers. The only thing more consistent than his presence under center was the Chargers’ ability to lose close ones. That’s not hyperbole, either: No quarterback in the Super Bowl era has lost more one-score games than Rivers.
This year, we’d finally find out the “chicken or egg” answer to who was the real curse, Rivers or the Chargers themselves. Judging by how Sunday went for both teams, we might already have that answer. The Chargers held on, almost miraculously, for a three-point win; Rivers threw a pick right after the Jaguars — who entered the season with the best odds at landing the No. 1 pick — took their first lead late in the fourth quarter. Sorry, Phil.
2. Bengals
For a minute there, Joe Burrow looked like he was single-handedly changing the fortunes of one of the most hard-luck franchises in the league. Shaking off an interception on the drive before, Burrow went to work with three minutes to go and the Bengals trailing 16-13. The only rookie QB to start a game this week was sharp and in control as he drove his team down to the Chargers’ 3-yard line.
Then, the Bengals went full Bengals. Burrow found A.J. Green in the end zone for what would’ve been the go-ahead touchdown. Instead, Green was hit with an iffy OPI penalty and the Cincinnati staff tried to settle for OT.
That’s when Randy Bullock’s calf decided to cramp up, and a chip-shot field goal attempt sailed wide right. Burrow’s expression sums up his “Welcome to Cincy” look better than I could:
1. Lions
Detroit was a trendy pick as a team that could surprise this season. It’s only been one week, but so far, there’s nothing surprising about the Lions. They blew a double-digit fourth-quarter lead to a division rival, then let their last-minute chance to win slip through their fingers — literally:
It doesn’t get more Lions than that. Well, unless that loss had come against the Packers.
Here’s how the last five drives went, with the Lions up 23-13 (they held a 23-6 lead heading into the fourth quarter):
-Matt Prater missed field goal
-Bears touchdown
-Matthew Stafford interception
-Bears touchdown
-Lions’ final drive — including D’Andre Swift’s drop with 6 seconds left — ends at Chicago’s 16-yard line
That combination of late-game choke job, the cardinal sin of letting Mitchell Trubisky look competent, a brutal drop from a rookie, and the franchise’s historical ineptitude gives the Lions one win this week: a win in our Week 1 pain index.
bucs vs chiefs in week12, 27to 24 chiefs wtf but in suoer bowl55 chiefs were really crushed 31-9 buccaneers hahahaha chifes should of not beated the buccaneers in week 12 some chiefs desure it
man the buccaneers are great