Test your NFL knowledge with this quiz based on recent events

This was entirely created by me, no ChatGPT involved (and it never will be).

Every time I think the future of digital media couldn’t possibly get bleaker, I’m rudely reminded that I shouldn’t be so optimistic. Lately, ChatGPT has left me (and many others) concerned that craven opportunists will use it as a way to cheaply and shamelessly create content while replacing writers. 

In fact, I’ve already seen it happen. Right now, it’s mostly just social graphics and Buzzfeed quizzes, and that’s depressing enough.

So I decided to put my own NFL quiz together — 100 percent created by me, zero percent by A.I. — based on recent happenings in the league, as well as a couple of trivia questions. 

I had fun creating this quiz (maybe it’ll become a recurring thing), and I hope you enjoy it too, or at least learn a little something in the process. At first, I didn’t really want to include a scoring system, but on a whim, I changed my mind. Now, in honor of those Buzzfeed quizzes, your score will tell you which Golden Girls character you are, at the bottom of the newsletter.

1. Which current NFL quarterback is on the cover of the newest Madden game?

A. Joe Burrow

B. Patrick Mahomes

C. Josh Allen

D. Jalen Hurts

Answer:

C. On Wednesday, Allen was announced as the cover star of Madden NFL 24, a special moment for anyone who grew up playing the game like Allen did. While Allen celebrated the upcoming release, poor Patrick Queen was not as thrilled.

2. Which current or former NFL quarterback attended the Tony Awards on Sunday night?

A. Tom Brady

B. Aaron Rodgers

C. Josh Allen

D. Joe Namath

Answer: 

B. No, it wasn’t Brady, who took in the men’s French Open final on Sunday. Nor was it Allen, even though he’s dating actress/singer Hailee Steinfeld. It wasn’t Broadway Joe himself, either.

But I’m not sure why Rodgers was at the United Palace theater for the 76th Tony Awards ceremony, along with tight end C.J. Uzomah:

https://twitter.com/MikeBeauvais/status/1668086834411233280?s=20

Perhaps the now-Jets quarterback is just making the rounds in his new city, like when he showed up for a couple of Knicks and Rangers games. Or maybe he wants to try to prove that he’s “cultured,” because, well, constantly going on Pat McAfee’s show and liking RFK Jr.’s anti-vaxxer tweets don’t really help his cause. 

Whatever the reason, Rodgers and Uzomah had free time to take in the show and afterparty: The Jets canceled their mandatory minicamp that was originally scheduled for this week.

3. After Dalvin Cook’s release, which other Vikings player is reportedly on the trade market?

A. Garrett Bradbury

B. Danielle Hunter

C. K.J. Osborn

D. Harrison Smith

Answer: 

B. The Vikings have entered a sorta-rebuilding phase. They watched veterans like Patrick Peterson and Dalvin Tomlinson sign elsewhere in free agency, while they released Adam Thielen, Eric Kendricks, and as of last week, Dalvin Cook. The latter was not a surprise, especially if you saw Adam Schefter’s tweet from earlier this month when he dropped the Kendall Roy-esque vocab word “denouement” to describe the situation.

However, it’d be a little unexpected if Minnesota traded Hunter — who led the team in sacks last year — after recently dealing fellow pass rusher Za’Darius Smith to the Browns. Still, Hunter wants a better contract, and with the Vikings projected to take a step back this season, you might understand why they’re at least fielding calls.

4. Which Colts player is the subject of a gambling investigation?

A. Mo Alie-Cox

B. Sam Ehlinger 

C. Michael Pittman Jr. 

D. Isaiah Rodgers

Answer: 

D. We know the NFL is hypocritical when it comes to … well, a lot of topics, but in this case, I’m talking about gambling. And even if the rules can sometimes be abstruse for the players, I think everyone, in every professional sport, understands that you can never bet on your own games. 

Well, that’s what Colts cornerback Isaiah Rodgers is being investigated for, and if the league uncovers any evidence to support those claims, then Rodgers could face the most severe punishment possible. Until we know more, the Colts aren’t saying much, while Rodgers hasn’t been seen at practice since the news broke.

5. Which food item *wasn’t* on the menu when the Chiefs visited the White House?

A. Fried mac and cheese bites

B. French toast ham and cheese sandwiches

C. Exotic chicken fingers

D. Bite-sized watermelon squares

Answer: 

A. When the Chiefs won the Super Bowl three years ago, they didn’t get a chance to be feted at the White House, supposedly due to Covid but probably also because of who was president at the time. Their second championship under Andy Reid, though, finally brought them to DC for their overdue celebration. 

Even if no one can agree on much of anything these days, I think people across the entire political spectrum can find enjoyment in Reid discussing the food served at the White House:

https://twitter.com/FieldYates/status/1666913304634114048?s=20

FWIW, it might not have been on the menu, but Reid is a big mac and cheese fan.

6. Which former NFL player co-stars in the upcoming teen sex comedy Bottoms?

A. Rob Gronkowski

B. Marshawn Lynch

C. Tom Brady

D. J.J. Watt

Answer: 

B. The official red band (i.e. with swearing) trailer came out last week, and it heavily features the f-bomb-dropping Lynch, who plays a teacher recruited to be the adviser for an all-girls fight club. Bottoms doesn’t hit theaters until August, but the movie currently has a 96 percent on Rotten Tomatoes.

7. Which former NFL player, who retired in 2021, has emerged as a potential replacement for Shannon Sharpe on Undisputed?

A. Greg Olsen

B. Philip Rivers

C. LeSean McCoy

D. Drew Brees

Answer: 

C. I do not know why Undisputed exists, or why TV execs continue to subject Skip Bayless to us, but the show will soon undergo a change, even if it will remain as unwatchable as ever. Sharpe is leaving the program, and McCoy is one of his possible replacements — maybe even the favorite. Good luck to you, Shady. I will not be watching.

8. What did Tua Tagovailoa wear on top of his helmet as a joke during a Dolphins practice?

A. A photo of head coach Mike McDaniel

B. A mini-helmet

C. An Echo the Dolphin Beanie Baby

D. A Polaroid camera

Answer: 

D. At the start of Miami’s OTAs, Tagovailoa’s helmet sported a camera and microphone attached to its side. McDaniel said its purpose was to help the team with film study. Tua had some reservations about the helmet cam, but social media was, of course, quick to mock him and the Dolphins for using it.

So Tua decided to have fun with it and taped an old-school Polaroid camera to the top of his helmet for a few minutes last week. Honestly, I’m just impressed that a 25-year-old knows what a Polaroid is.

9. Who holds the NFL record for most interceptions thrown in a single game?

A. Jim Hardy

B. Ty Detmer

C. Brett Favre

D. Vinny Testaverde

Answer: 

A. No relation! In 1950, Hardy threw eight picks in a game for the then-Chicago Cardinals. Since then, no one has matched his record, but seven quarterbacks have come close with seven-interception outings. 

10. On average, how many points per game did teams score in the 2022 season?

A. 21.9

B. 22.4

C. 23.8

D. 24.3

Answer: 

A. In 2020, NFL teams averaged 24.8 points per game, the most ever in a single season. That number has now dropped two straight years. In fact, 2022’s average of 21.9 points was the lowest number since 2017, when teams put up 21.7 points per game. I don’t know about you, but I blame the Broncos.

Your score/Golden Girls character

0-2 correct answers: Rose

3-5 correct answers: Blanche

6-8 correct answers: Dorothy

9-10 correct answers: Sophia