It's time to play matchmaker for free agent DeAndre Hopkins
Which team could be "the one" for the newly available receiver?
In the past week and change, Succession and Ted Lasso ended their Emmy Award-winning runs. The discourse for both often teetered into “am I watching the same show as these other fans?” territory on social media, particularly when it came to the series’ romantic, or possibly romantic, relationships.
That was especially the case for Ted Lasso — don’t worry, I’ll keep it vague here so as not to spoil anything — which seemed to sharply divide certain segments of its viewership in this category. Specifically, at one extreme, there were the Ted/Rebecca “shippers,” and on the other extreme, those who mocked them.
I belong to neither club. I’ve certainly rooted for fictional characters to get together before, though, so I understand where the Ted/Rebecca supporters were coming from, even if I wasn’t one of them. (The same goes for Hallmark Christmas movies — not my cup of tea, but I get the appeal and don’t believe in looking down on those who find comfort in them.)
I’m also quite familiar with TV couple tropes and how they’ve evolved, or have been subverted, over the years. I could ramble on about that topic for the entire length of this newsletter if I chose to, but I will spare you from that … to an extent. Because for this newsletter, I decided to figure out which TV couple tropes applied to the NFL’s biggest free agent at the moment, DeAndre Hopkins.
As a reminder, Hopkins just turned 31 and hasn’t played a full season since 2020. He finished that year with 115 catches (second in the league) for 1,407 yards (third in the league) and a team-high six touchdown catches. He also became a five-time Pro Bowler and All-Pro (his second time on the second team).
Injuries and a six-game PED suspension limited Hopkins to nine games in 2022, and he still led the Cardinals with 717 receiving yards. Though Arizona wasn’t able to find any takers for Nuk on the trade market, he should have several suitors as a free agent now that his new team won’t be on the hook for the $19.5 million he was set to earn in 2023 before he was released. Let’s take a look at seven of those possible “love matches,” as well as their corresponding TV couple.
The power couple: Chiefs
TV example: Zack and Kelly, Saved by the Bell
Zack and Kelly didn’t quite meet the head cheerleader/captain of the football team stereotype, but they were the most popular couple at Bayside and, per the sadly short-lived SBTB reboot on Peacock, are still married to this day.
Why Hopkins could, or couldn’t, end up here
Patrick Mahomes already has a favorite and trustworthy No. 1 option: tight end Travis Kelce. But in the most pedantic of definitions, Mahomes lacks a true WR1. Hopkins could be that for Kansas City’s offense, without the pressure of being the only reliable weapon, like he was so often in his younger days in Houston.
In turn, Hopkins would have his best chance yet of earning a Super Bowl ring. The fit makes sense, even if the logistics don’t. He’d have to take a massive pay cut to join the salary cap-deficient Chiefs, and/or they’d have to perform some financial gymnastics, but perhaps that’s an opportunity neither wants to pass up.
The answer to what’s been missing: Bills
TV example: Michael and Holly, The Office
The perpetually lonely Michael Scott had long been unlucky in love, never quite finding the right person for him — someone who could appreciate his eagerness while also matching him in the corniness/weirdness department — until Holly came along and gave him the family he so desperately wanted.
Why Hopkins could, or couldn’t, end up here
The Bills keep looking for the secret ingredient that will take them from AFC contenders to the Super Bowl. At first glance, you might not think wide receiver would be their biggest need, considering Stefon Diggs is firmly entrenched as WR1. After him, though, the depth chart is light on consistent playmakers. So when a defense is able to keep Diggs in check, like the Bengals did in the playoffs, then Buffalo’s offense is in trouble.
Hopkins-Diggs would make for the best tag team that Josh Allen has ever had, and Hopkins has already made it clear he’d like playing with the Bills quarterback. The feeling is apparently mutual. The Buffalo front office has been flirting with the idea of Hopkins for a while.
However, like the Chiefs, the Bills are low on cap space and were even before they extended Ed Oliver and signed Leonard Floyd. The Athletic, which called a potential signing “a long shot,” also questioned whether Hopkins’ and Diggs’ personalities would mesh.
The second time around: Texans
TV example: Sydney and Vaughn, Alias
Sydney and Vaughn didn’t even get to enjoy half a season together until they were ripped apart, but they weren’t your typical on-and-off TV couple. Technically, they never even broke up the first time — Sydney was presumed dead for two years and had her memory wiped, while Vaughn (*gasp*) married someone else (a double agent, as it turned out) during that time. When they did get back together, after Vaughn killed his evil wife, they remained an item for good … even though Vaughn had to fake his death at one point.
Why Hopkins could, or couldn’t, end up here
Hopkins’ most prolific seasons came as a member of the Texans. In seven seasons in Houston, Nuk reached the 1,500 receiving yards mark twice and led the team in the same category in every year except as a rookie. In his final two seasons there, Hopkins amassed 2,737 receiving yards; the next-closest Texans WR was Will Fuller, who totaled 1,173 receiving yards in that same span.
At that time, Hopkins’ relationship with then-head coach/GM Bill O’Brien started to sour, and with grifter Jack Easterby around to make an even bigger mess, the Texans traded Hopkins in 2020. He left Houston as the franchise’s second-leading receiver in most major categories, behind legend Andre Johnson.
The Texans’ new head coach, DeMeco Ryans, might understand how Hopkins feels. Ryans was also drafted, and later traded, by Houston and is now back for a second stint. Though Nuk could be willing to rekindle things with the Texans, they are reportedly — at least for now — more concerned with developing their young receivers.
The one that’s been a long time coming AND forgiving and forgetting: Patriots
TV examples: Niles and Daphne, Frasier for the first; Ross and Rachel, Friends for the second
Two tropes with one team! Let’s start with the first one: Niles pined for Daphne for years, unbeknownst to her, but he was married to the never-seen Maris. When Niles got divorced, the timing still wasn’t right: Daphne started dating his attorney. Then when Daphne was finally ready to confront Niles about his feelings for her (and vice versa), Niles eloped with someone else. Oh the farce! They finally got on the same page, though, even if it took until the end of season 7.
For the second, Ross and Rachel had several stops and starts in the wake of the infamous “we were on a break!” incident, but in the final episode, Ross joked about it during their reconciliation, signaling that both were finally ready to move past it and stay together for the long haul.
Why Hopkins could, or couldn’t, end up here
I’ve long enjoyed Bill Belichick and Hopkins’ admiration for each other, in part because I can only name two other things — special teams and his dog — that I’m certain Belichick loves. It’s like a platonic football version of unresolved sexual tension.
His respect for Nuk, coupled with Belichick’s pitiful history of drafting receivers and the Patriots’ lack of a No. 1 guy, explains why New England is supposedly interested in Hopkins. But does that go both ways when O’Brien is overseeing the offense now?
Which brings us to the second part. O’Brien and Hopkins would have to clear the air if they planned on working together again, which hopefully two grown men would be able to do. Besides, that’s how relationship bumps are often resolved: sit down, talk it out, and decide to give it one more shot.
The mutually beneficial arrangement: Titans
TV example: Philip and Elizabeth Jennings, The Americans
Philip and Elizabeth — not their given names — didn’t start off as an authentic couple, despite having two kids, a big home in Virginia, and a successful travel agency company. Instead, they were part of a KGB-orchestrated plot to spy on the U.S. Eventually, their fake marriage turned into real love (onscreen and off).
Why Hopkins could, or couldn’t, end up here
This weekend, Hopkins will meet with the Titans, his first official visit as a free agent. Hopkins has some familiarity with head coach Mike Vrabel, who was on Houston’s staff for four seasons. The Titans might not be the most attractive landing spot, but they could be a good fit for Nuk, even if the team doesn’t meet his criteria.
Tennessee can, as usual, use the help at wide receiver. Right now, second-year wideout Treylon Burks is the No. 1 receiver on the depth chart, followed by one name that might ring a bell (Nick Westbrook-Ikhine) and then guys like Racey McMath (actual player) and Gort Fenderbuckle (ok, I made that one up).
In 11 games as a rookie, Burks hauled in 33 catches for 444 yards and a touchdown, well off from Hopkins’ numbers in only nine appearances last year. In Tennessee, Hopkins could be a much-needed safety blanket for Ryan Tannehill and/or rookie quarterback Will Levis.
But the Titans have gone the veteran WR route each of the past two offseasons — Robert Woods in 2022, Julio Jones in 2021 — and neither worked out. Even if they think Hopkins could break the streak, then there’s the matter of money. While Tennessee has more salary cap space than Buffalo and Kansas City, it has less than every other team on this list — and probably not enough to afford what Nuk wants, especially to play for a franchise that likely won’t be in the Super Bowl hunt this season.
The couple who gets a fresh start in a new setting: Browns
TV example: Doug and Carol, ER
Let’s gloss over the Season 6 storyline about how Carol stayed in Chicago and gave birth to their twins, while Doug stayed in Seattle and apparently never even visited his newborn daughters. By the end of the season, they reunited in one of TV’s best-kept secret cameos and lived happily ever after, even if it happened mostly offscreen. We did get to check in with the two in the final season of ER. By that time, they were married and working together — and inadvertently helped save Dr. Carter’s life.
Why Hopkins could, or couldn’t, end up here
Neither Hopkins nor Deshaun Watson has been as productive without each other as they were when they were playing together. So it’s understandable why Watson has campaigned for a reunion in Cleveland, and Hopkins is open to it as well. Even Watson’s current top target, Amari Cooper, isn’t threatened at all by the possibility.
The Browns should be interested too, considering that they shamelessly and grossly made a huge investment in Watson last year, and they need that gamble to pay off. In his brief time as starter following his suspension for sexual misconduct — excuse me, for “violating the NFL's personal conduct policy” — Watson looked far removed from the quarterback who had flourished alongside Hopkins in Houston.
That could change after an entire offseason of working with his Cleveland teammates, particularly if his old friend becomes one of his new teammates.
Yet, there doesn’t seem to be much movement from the Browns on that front. Meanwhile, Hopkins has stressed that landing in a stable situation is important for him. And, well, when have the Browns ever been stable?
The less obvious pairing that starts to make sense: Lions
TV example: Joey and Pacey, Dawson’s Creek
Perhaps my favorite kind of TV couple is the one that becomes endgame that was never intended to be endgame — evidence that the writers noticed a certain spark between actors and decided to explore it, even if it changed their original plans (aka, what the How I Met Your Mother creators should have done). I could’ve gone with a number of examples here, such as Logan/Veronica or Monica/Chandler, but I thought Joey/Pacey was more appropriate. Like the Lions, Pacey was an underdog, but with growth and maturity, turned out pretty well and worthy of the girl next door’s love.
Why Hopkins could, or couldn’t, end up here
Early in the 2020 offseason, when Hopkins was coming off his third straight first-team All-Pro season, can you imagine O’Brien shipping him off to Detroit? At that point, the Lions had charisma vacuum Matt Patricia as their head coach and just finished a 3-12-1 year, their second consecutive (of what would be four) losing season. That would not have been a match.
But now, Detroit is building something real, with the type of spirited and motivational coach that Hopkins has never really had before — though, to be fair, there is no other coach quite like Dan Campbell. The Lions’ receiving corps is talented but doesn’t have much of an identity. Amon-Ra St. Brown is productive, Marvin Jones is experienced, and Jameson Williams has potential … and was also handed a sorta bogus six-game suspension. All are useful in their own right, and Hopkins could be too under the creative guidance of OC Ben Johnson.
Johnson is looking to make a big jump this year, as are the Lions in general. Hopkins could help them get there.
If there’s one thing preventing this unexpectedly intriguing union, it’s that Campbell likes the offensive playmakers that are already in the building. And even if he didn’t say this, adding a personality like Hopkins could threaten to disrupt whatever balance they’ve reached after their gambling mini-scandal.